


A Lovely Thing

by wildestranger



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-05
Updated: 2010-04-05
Packaged: 2017-10-08 17:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildestranger/pseuds/wildestranger





	A Lovely Thing

  
It starts with a joke, or so Sirius tells himself, or tells Remus rather, for he doesn't question the statement himself. He knows what he means, but it wouldn't do to say that and so it is a joke, something he can get away with. He doesn't get away with many things these days, but Moony is a forgiving thing and Sirius knows how much he can push before something must break.

A joke, then, a drunken question that they can pretend he didn't ask the next day when they wake up with hangovers and no clothes on. Or so Sirius hopes, but Moony is proving to be a difficult thing. He say no with such vehement finality that Sirius begins to doubt whether this is a good idea, whether he _should_ ask. But Moony grows flushed and his eyelashes flutter in a desperate manner and Sirius remembers that yes, he must ask, he must _have_, he must. And the breathless delivery of Remus' _no you can't ask that Sirius not even though we're mates and Marauders_, tells him that there's a crack, a way for him to get in.

A drunken Moony responds to his poking and prodding by furious eloquence on why Sirius is being selfish and by shivering when he thinks Sirius doesn't see. He steals Sirius' drink when he goes to the loo and grins defiantly with wine-black lips. There's a sheen of sweat on his forehead, from drink and adrenaline and the warm press of bodies around them, and Sirius considers how selfish it would be to lick it off. But Moony chews on his upper lip with sharp teeth, and if Sirius wants to offer his mouth, his throat, any part of his body for those teeth, he doesn't mention it. He presses his nails to his palms and buys Remus another drink.

Back home there's stumbling with the keys and some unmoonyish seeking for support. And when Remus falls against him, Sirius knows that he could, could take advantage, could prove Moony's point about what he doesn't deserve. But Sirius is selfish enough to want more than that, to want all and so he pours a pint of water down's Remus' throat and puts him to bed. And goes to shiver by himself in his room.

The next day Remus looks at him with more trepidation than his brave Moony has ever shown before, and Sirius smiles, for he knows that Moony is careful thing, a thing to be treated with care and delicacy and insidious plotting. Moony is becoming vulnerable to him, and Sirius is giddy with glee when he sees how Moony tries to avoid brushing against him in the kitchen or blushes when he is caught staring. Remus doesn't like to show any weakness, this he knows, but when that weakness is Sirius he can't seem to help himself, can't seem to keep from twitching when Sirius is near and losing his balance when Sirius almost bumps into him. Sirius takes to staring at the pulse on Remus' neck or on his wrists, and Remus takes to wearing high collars and long sleeves that he picks on in order to keep Sirius from seeing the fast beat of his heart.

Sirius wants to be gentle, for Moony is a precious thing, and he doesn't want to break Moony while he cracks him. Sirius knows that Remus hates himself too easily, and that any concession Sirius gains will be bought with many nights of horrific dreams and self-loathing. So he moves slow, forces his smiles to be open and his words sincere, makes himself vulnerable so that Moony can bear to be vulnerable too. He doesn't touch, not yet, for they are both too thin-skinned for that. Sirius can feel Remus' trembling fingers as a prickling on his own skin and it scares him a little, how much he can feel from just the sight of narrow, freckled wrists and too-long fingers with tiny scars over the knuckles. And Remus is uneasy with him, looks at him with suspicion and a weariness that suggests Moony knows he is losing.

When it happens, it isn't because Sirius has been too hungry for too long, or because Remus has given in. Remus wouldn't give in, but he struggles and then he's too tired to struggle. Moony is a contrary thing, but while Sirius could wait for him to be comfortable, he will not wait when he sees Remus tearing at himself because of Sirius. He has the friend's right to grab and hold and hug, and the Marauder's right to help even when Remus doesn't want to be helped. Remus tries to push him away, he spews out violent things that would hurt Sirius with their sharpness if he didn't know that Moony is a clever thing even when threatened. He takes the venom of Remus' words gladly, takes them so that they won't hurt Remus himself. Then he takes Remus' face in his hands and kisses him.

If there are sobs, of longing, of despair, of joy, then they don't mention them. For Sirius is a loving thing, and all the open-mouthed kisses he bestows on Remus' body are there to remind Remus of that. The teasing hands that mark patterns on feverish skin tell Remus that there is no joke, that Sirius is serious, and desperately in love. If Remus opens his mouth to broken words, broken moans that make his body shake, then Sirius cradles and strokes him until he can breathe again, and be still.

And when Remus kisses him and says _Yes_, Sirius folds him open in his arms and sees that Moony is a lovely thing, and his.


End file.
